thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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