You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
