brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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