I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
