last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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