I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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