Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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