better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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