I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
