singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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