I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
