Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
