I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
