Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You don't make any sense
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