Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
