so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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