but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
