Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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