Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
All the doctor said was why
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
