I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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