Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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