no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
