Can Purell be used as lube?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
