Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
