Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
