we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
