do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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