it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
