you guys were way drunker than both of me
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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