So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
