It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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