haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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