our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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