my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
