the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
