Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
