yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
