im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
