I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
