I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
