at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
