Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
