woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
