just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Never underestimate the power of titties
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
