the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
