We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
