Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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