You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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