just come out here and I will go home with you...
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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