happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
