i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just want to make out with him forever
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
