I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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